Dr Who Limerick

July 18th, 2017

The new Time Lord’s quite a surprise;
she’ll emerge once the Scottish one dies.
But I warn you, refrain,
from the urge to complain,
or the Doctor will scratch out your eyes.

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Michael Bond Limerick

June 29th, 2017

As creator of Paddington Bear,
Michael Bond was a writer with flair.
And he’s now in that place
of eternal good grace
where there’s marmalade sarnies to spare.

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John Noakes Limerick

May 29th, 2017

“Down Shep” John Noakes often would say
which kept his dog calm and at bay.
But the phrase we liked most
from the Blue Peter host
was: “Here’s one I made earlier today.”

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Russian Collusion (?) Limerick

May 28th, 2017

Trump’s party, it seems, got ahead
by being with Russia in bed;
and for those with an eye,
this may explain why
the Republican colour is red.

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Roger Moore Limerick

May 24th, 2017

Of Roger Moore we were all fond;
the most famous spy’s mantle he donned.
And what can be sweeter
than telling St. Peter
“The name, my dear fellow, is Bond.”

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Russian Backing Limerick

May 21st, 2017

The Russians successfully hacked
the election, and Donald they backed;
but all went awry
when Flynn, their new guy,
inauspiciously found himself sacked.

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Trump Saudi Visit

May 21st, 2017

“The ban on all Muslims is lifted,”
said Donald, as policy shifted.
“For it keeps people’s minds
off embarrassing finds,
while our Russian connections are sifted.

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Donald The Puppet Limerick

May 16th, 2017

The Trump should be put out to grass,
since diplomacy’s tests he can’t pass.
For if he’s not tamed,
I foresee he’ll be named
a hero of Russia, first class.

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100+ Days Limerick

May 13th, 2017

The FBI chief has been fired,
in wrong-doing rumour Trump’s mired;
and his staff have made cash
to add to their stash
when with Russia they schemed and conspired.

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John Bickley Limerick

May 9th, 2017

From his words and his self-righteous pose
John Bickley’s a man I suppose
who in spite of his suit,
in his youth once picked fruit,
or perhaps all he’s picked is his nose.

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A Limerist’s Limerick

May 1st, 2017

A Limerist isn’t a toff,
yet my hat to such poets I doff;
for to write stuff so lewd
or by being plain rude
is an art, so you all can f#$k off.

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Rent’s Due Limerick

April 22nd, 2017

The landlord says my rent is due,
and expects that this fact I will rue.
But the truth is it’s late,
well past its due date –
these landlords just haven’t a clue.

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Nukes For All Limerick

April 20th, 2017

The States has got Kim Jong Un beat,
coz The Donald has sent in the fleet.
But if North Korea
fires a nuke, as some fear,
alas, we will all take the heat.

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Kim Jong Un Nuclear Limerick

April 18th, 2017

Said Kim Jong Un: “I have a plan
to become the world’s number one man.
And though ‘one’ might mean ‘only’,
I wouldn’t be lonely
since I’m also my number one fan.”

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Failed Bills Limerick

March 27th, 2017

Poor Donald said from the beginning:
“You’ll soon all get fed up with winning.”
But a failed ban on travel
has seen things unravel
and the health bill has left Trump’s head spinning.

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Backwards Bertha

March 23rd, 2017

There once was a girl named Bertha
Who liked doing things vice versa.
She ate breakfast at night
And all was alright
But the pancakes led to inertia.

Author’s webpage:

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Leicester – Liverpool Match

March 2nd, 2017

The question last night’s football begs
Is had Liverpool drunk dry some kegs?
For it seemed to be clear
That they’d been at the beer,
Or else Leicester have just found their legs.

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Travel Ban Limerick

February 11th, 2017

In the saga of Donald J. Trump,
his travel ban hit a big bump.
So to hide his mistakes,
he call news outlets fakes
and said those who opposed him he’d thump.

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Twit Limerick

February 8th, 2017

Trump wants to appear a hard hitter
by resorting to insults on Twitter.
But each time he reacts
with his typos and ‘facts’
that aren’t truthful, the world’s in a titter.

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Ivanka Limerick

February 3rd, 2017

With millions of folk in distress,
Ivanka was forced to confess,
“I think, for God’s sake,
that the poor should eat cake
while I’m showing the world my new dress.”

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Trump

February 1st, 2017

There once was a man slightly bitter
For not achieving the glory and glitter
I’ll screw you all
And build my wall
Just don’t take away my Twitter!

Cornelia Weissfloch

Slug Catcher Limerick

January 28th, 2017

A slug by its nature can’t halt
eating veggies, which isn’t its fault.
But when gard’ners get peeved
they are only relieved
once the slug has been melted with salt.

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Kellyanne Conway Limerick

January 24th, 2017

Said Kelly, “A fact isn’t true
if it puts Mister Trump in a stew;
and let me just add
that lies needn’t be bad
if conforming to our point of view.”

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Friday 13th Limerick

January 14th, 2017

On Friday the 13th they say
that inside your house you should stay
since to go out takes pluck
coz the world’s short on luck
and Jason is coming to play.

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Inauguration Limerick

January 12th, 2017

Don Trump is the man of the hour,
in the White House he’ll soon be in power;
and plans are afoot
in his bathroom to put
a Russian-made, gold-plated shower.

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New Year’s Limerick

December 31st, 2016

New Year is upon us again,
after twelve months of heartache and pain;
and like sheep we’ll all cheer
just as much the next year,
lest we’re dead or we’ve all gone insane.

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X-mas Limerick – 3

December 26th, 2016

There’s enough meat and wine without doubt,
to give even a healthy man gout.
And the hospital’s near,
if too much Christmas cheer
means your stomach requires pumping out.

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X-mas Limerick – 2

December 26th, 2016

Though ballads of wonder are sung
of how Rudolph the Reindeer’s well hung,
you have to admit
he’s an arrogant git
and he smells like an old pile of dung.

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The Irish Make Fun Of Dennis

December 15th, 2016

There once was a boy named Dennis
Who was terrible at tennis.
He’d try to hit the ball
But would swing, miss & fall—
As we laughed and all drank our Guinness.

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X-mas Limerick 1

December 5th, 2016

Though Christmas is just once a year,
it isn’t a time to hold dear;
for that red-coated bloke
who makes everyone broke
is really a pain in the rear.

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