Mars Limerick

October 16th, 2019

When Viking 2 launched for the stars,
its landing was met with hurrahs!
And with signs that there’s life
myself and the wife
are now thinking of moving to Mars.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com



Black-Face Limerick

September 30th, 2019

His black-painted face was inciting;
the media commentary biting.
And so in the end
he plumped to defend
the photos by blaming poor lighting.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Boris Legs It Limerick

September 17th, 2019

In Luxembourg, Boris’s smile,
lasted only a very short while.
At the sound of, “No Brexit”,
he made for the exit
and ran a proverbial mile.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Royal Budget Flight Limerick

August 24th, 2019

Though William and Kate are celebs,
and their plane carried Kylie and Debs,
the twain didn’t meet
because each royal seat
was kept well away from the plebs.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Hal and Meg Limerick

August 21st, 2019

Though they warn us about acid rain,
and world temperature’s getting insane,
Prince Harry and Meg
must be pulling our leg,
for they constantly travel by plane.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

A$AP Rocky Limerick

July 30th, 2019

A$AP Rocky believed that he could
keep from jail after doing no good;
but like President Trump,
he came down with a bump
when the Swedes said: “This isn’t your hood.”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Cricket Final Limerick

July 18th, 2019

The English were caught in a fix
as their batsmen fast ran out of tricks,
then when Stokes ran for two
an outfielder threw
and deflected a fortunate six.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Women’s World Cup Limerick

July 12th, 2019

Alas, when it came to the crunch,
the USA ate us for lunch.
But this talented team,
though they played like a dream,
are a highly unlikable bunch.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Diplomatic Cables Limerick

July 12th, 2019

The White House was angered a lot
by messages leaked by some clot.
And as was expected,
once Trump had reflected
he threw all his toys from his cot.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Royal Nanny Limerick

July 2nd, 2019

Misfortune’s when one nanny quits,
and it’s tough if a second one gits.
But now we have heard
of the loss of a third,
which means Meghan and Hal are the pits.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Dictator Bromance Limerick

July 2nd, 2019

Said Donald: “True love’s when I see
darling Vladimir seated by me.
Yet nothing can beat
a photo-op meet
with dear Kim in Korea’s DMZ.”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

The Camberwell Mystery Limerick

June 28th, 2019

Was it things that go bump in the night,
or an earthquake’s formidable might?
I have to confess
that it’s anyone’s guess
coz Boris’s lips are shut tight.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Trump State Visit – 3

June 4th, 2019

It seems Boris Johnson’s a man
who Trump deems a genuine fan;
so he gave him the nod
coz they’re peas in a pod
and a Mini-Me’s part of Trump’s plan.

 

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Trump State Visit – 2

June 4th, 2019

The Palace staff thought it a joke
when the White House liaisoning folk
said: “In order to feed
Donald Trump, all you need
is hamburgers, fries and a Coke.”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Trump State Visit – 1

June 4th, 2019

Said Donald, “Till now I’ve been seen
to be uncouth and greedy and mean.
But today I’ve arrived,
coz I’ve gone and contrived
to sit down and have tea with the Queen.”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Everest Traffic Jam Limerick

May 30th, 2019

From the Top of the World is a view
that has only been seen by a few;
but now all’s not fine
coz the peak has a line
that is worse than a post office queue.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Trump In Japan Limerick

May 29th, 2019

Said Donald: “This ain’t food for guys;
eating sushi and seaweed surprise
might be good for a man
who was born in Japan,
but I need my burgers and fries.”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

EU Parliament Vote Limerick

May 29th, 2019

Said Nigel: “I’m having a ball,
watching Tory and Labour seats fall,
and cometh the hour,
when I am in power,
these traitors are first ‘gainst the wall.”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Milkshake Limerick

May 22nd, 2019

Both Tommy and Nige were forlorn
and believe that a line must be drawn;
for though milkshakes taste good,
it must be understood,
they’re for drinking and not to be worn.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

MS’s LGBT Sandwich Limerick

May 7th, 2019

Piers Morgan had oodles to say
on a sandwich he claimed to be gay;
and yet his obsession
gave folks the impression
he’ll emerge from the closet one day.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Brexit Party Limerick – 2

May 5th, 2019

Said Nigel: “My party’s a club
with nationalist thought at its hub.
And we often debate
in a falling down state
over ten pints of beer down the pub.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Brexit Party Limerick

May 5th, 2019

Farage may appeal to his base
who want Brexit to come on apace.
But how can you vote
for a bleating old goat
with a rubbery, muppet-like face?

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Brexit Halloween Limerick

April 12th, 2019

The deal says on All Hallow’s Eve,
the E.U. we’re destined to leave.
But like ghosts which they say
are abroad on that day,
it seems too far-fetched to believe.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

… and in Brexit News

April 12th, 2019

So ‘Brexit means Brexit’, but then,
while this limerick’s contents I pen,
the flummoxed EU
still haven’t a clue
about Brexit’s mysterious ‘when’.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Brexit Talks Limerick

April 2nd, 2019

Says Bercow, “If Brexit talk fails
to make progress no faster than snails,
to cut Britain’s loss,
a coin I shall toss;
to leave, or remain – heads or tails?”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Misgendering Limerick

March 23rd, 2019

I misgendered a ‘him’ as a ‘her’
and was labelled on Facebook a cur;
so I’ve vowed from this day
that my posts will now say
‘Hello to you Miss, Ma’am or Sir.’

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/catholic-mum-five-investigated-police-misgendering-transgender-child-twitter-114028123.html

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Shutdown Limerick

January 27th, 2019

Said Trump: “I was having a ball
with the shutdown to build me a wall.
But now it’s a race,
to stop losing face,
so it may end up just one foot tall.”

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Naked Dining Limerick

January 10th, 2019

A restaurant serving up food
for diners who ate in the nude,
went bust when they saw
I had walked through the door,
and everyone eating there spewed.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Primordial Planetesimal Limerick

January 4th, 2019

As deep into space Mankind goes,
a weird looking object arose;
and I must theorise
from its shape and its size,
it’s a booger sneezed out of God’s nose.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Christmas Dinner Limerick

December 30th, 2018

At Christmas a guest often pouts
when the table at dinner time touts
not the turkey – that’s fine!
nor roast tatties – divine!
but a mountain of foul-smelling sprouts.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com