X-mas Limerick 1

December 5th, 2016

Though Christmas is but once a year,
it isn’t a time to hold dear;
for that red-coated bloke
makes everyone broke –
he’s really a pain in the rear.

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Election Eve Limerick

November 6th, 2016

Said Donald, “If I should not fail
the coming election to nail,
the first day I’ll spend
signing papers to send
the poet who wrote this to jail.”

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Town Hall Limerick

October 11th, 2016

Don Trump has a very strange gift
for sounding like drugs he’s just sniffed.
And the frown on his brow
whilst engaged in a row
explains why he always looks miffed.

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Donald Turnip Video Limerick – 2

October 9th, 2016

Trumps critics have launched a barrage
of dismay as disaster looms large;
and his only supporter
is his ‘date-able’ daughter
and a pundit named Nigel Farage.

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Donald Turnip Video Limerick

October 9th, 2016

Said Don, “I am not some old dope,
I know every babe’s deepest hope.
It’s a Frenchie that’s duly
performed by yours truly,
and the world famous Donald Trump grope.

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Tax Evader Limerick

October 6th, 2016

Said Donald, “Okay, I’ve been lax
at paying my fair share of tax.
But if you should choose
to make this fact news
You’d better be watching your backs.”

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Non-Payment of Taxes Limerick

October 6th, 2016

It seems Donald Trump has been lax
in paying his federal tax,
but release of this news
Donald blames as a ruse
raised by Hillary’s media hacks.

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First Debate Limerick

September 28th, 2016

Ms Clinton’s cause got a great lift
every time Donald choked up and sniffed.
For Trump’s woeful debating
raised Hillary’s rating
and left Trump and company miffed.

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Trump’s Mexico Jaunt

September 2nd, 2016

There was an old fellow called Trump,
who on Mexico took a big dump.
Then he went there to find
out the Mexicans’ mind
and they gave him a kick in the rump.

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Usain ‘Romeo’ Bolt Limerick

August 27th, 2016

Usain’s rep has taken a jolt,
and at romance he’s proven a dolt.
For as on the track
he’s shown there’s no lack
of restraint when he’s shooting his bolt.

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Rio Olympics Limerick – 3

August 14th, 2016

The judges at Rio agree
that the pool is a strange thing to see.
But they claim you’ll survive
though you swim or you dive
into water the colour of pee.

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Farage’s New Look Limerick

August 13th, 2016

At the end of the Brexit vote bash,
Nigel ran for the door at a dash.
Then to hide from the folk
fooled by mirrors and smoke
he grew an outrageous moustache.

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Moon Rocks Limerick – 2

August 11th, 2016

To NASA I wrote and said, “Please
let’s save on our lawyers’ high fees.
That bag held by Neil
I guess isn’t real
coz inside it are lumps of green cheese.”

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Moon Bag Limerick

August 11th, 2016

To NASA I wrote and said, “Please
hand back the moon bag you did seize.
I now know the bag’s real
which I bought for a steal
for inside was a lump of green cheese.”

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/nasa-accidentally-sells-moon-landing-bag-080800106.html

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Trump Behaves Like a Baby

August 4th, 2016

“To talk about GOP stuff,”
said Donald, “can prove rather tough.
So if your kid cries,
you can say your goodbyes
coz of brats I have had quite enough.”

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The Hulk

August 2nd, 2016

There was a big bloke called The Hulk
Who was much too proud of his bulk
He trained every day
Til muscles gave way
Then sorry and sore he did sulk

Mario Petralia

Trump’s Ethos

July 29th, 2016

Said Donald, “It’s Hillary’s ruse
to say that the poor I abuse.
But if the truth’s told,
and this may sound cold,
they’re here for us rich folk to use.”

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Rio Olympics Limerick – 2

July 26th, 2016

The Olympian village, I hear,
is not one the Aussies hold dear.
For the pong of the dunny
is not very funny
and the fridges aren’t packed full of beer.

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Rio Olympics Limerick – 1

July 25th, 2016

The athletes of Russia had hoped
to compete though they’d cheated and doped.
But the IAAF
to such pleading was deaf
so they stayed home in Moscow and moped.

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Euro 2016 Limerick – 2

June 29th, 2016

The island of Fire and Ice
did not treat us Englishmen nice.
But let us not pout
coz we got booted out
for playing like scared little mice.

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Euro 2016 Limerick

June 28th, 2016

The England team took to the pitch
and promptly encountered a glitch.
We soon were outpaced
by the Vikings we faced
who taught us that life was…unpredictable.

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Brexit

June 28th, 2016

There is too much noise about Brexit,
Grexit, Frexit, Finexit, and Nexit.
As to Europe itself,
rotten at the far shelf,
what to do with it – Throwit or Fixit?

Mek

Brexit Limerick 5

June 27th, 2016

A tight referendum we ran
to split with the Europe-wide clan.
But it would have been smart
if right from the start
we’d worked out a post-Brexit plan.

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Brexit Limerick 4

June 27th, 2016

The vote for the Brexit was bold,
and gained much support from the old.
But what of young folk
who escaped Europe’s yoke
and now find that they’re out in the cold?

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Brexit Limerick 3

June 27th, 2016

Said Nigel Farage, “Hip, Hooray!
We gained independence this day.
But the end of the story
is my friends now ignore me
and hope that I’m fading away.”

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Brexit Limerick 2

June 27th, 2016

Could this be the start of the end?
Will the EU’s peeved members unfriend?
Whate’er may transpire
the fat’s in the fire
with plenty of fences to mend.

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Brexit Limerick

June 27th, 2016

The U.K. decided to vote
on a bridge or to dig a deep moat.
As mad as a hatter
we plumped for the latter
and now we’re adrift in a boat.

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Trump University Limerick

June 10th, 2016

Said Trump, “There’s a Mexican judge
who bears me one heck of a grudge.
Though I’m the accused,
he should still be recused,
and on that point ‘The Donald’ won’t budge.”

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Not Sure;-)

May 29th, 2016

There once was a woman getting fatter
Who decided size didn’t matter
It’s either a measure
or pure pleasure
And I honestly prefer the latter!

Cornelia Weisfloch

Barack Obama Meets Brexit

April 26th, 2016

Said Barack Obama, “Dear friends!”
In a speech that some folk think offends.
“Should you go it alone,
then you’d better not moan
if our Special Relationship ends.”

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