Rent’s Due Limerick

April 22nd, 2017

The landlord says my rent is due,
and expects that this fact I will rue.
But the truth is it’s late,
well past its due date –
these landlords just haven’t a clue.

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Nukes For All Limerick

April 20th, 2017

The States has got Kim Jong Un beat,
coz The Donald has sent in the fleet.
But if North Korea
fires a nuke, as some fear,
alas, we will all take the heat.

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Kim Jong Un Nuclear Limerick

April 18th, 2017

Said Kim Jong Un: “I have a plan
to become the world’s number one man.
And though ‘one’ might mean ‘only’,
I wouldn’t be lonely
since I’m also my number one fan.”

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Failed Bills Limerick

March 27th, 2017

Poor Donald said from the beginning:
“You’ll soon all get fed up with winning.”
But a failed ban on travel
has seen things unravel
and the health bill has left Trump’s head spinning.

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Backwards Bertha

March 23rd, 2017

There once was a girl named Bertha
Who liked doing things vice versa.
She ate breakfast at night
And all was alright
But the pancakes led to inertia.

Author’s webpage:

https://about.me/dklawitter

Leicester – Liverpool Match

March 2nd, 2017

The question last night’s football begs
Is had Liverpool drunk dry some kegs?
For it seemed to be clear
That they’d been at the beer,
Or else Leicester have just found their legs.

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Travel Ban Limerick

February 11th, 2017

In the saga of Donald J. Trump,
his travel ban hit a big bump.
So to hide his mistakes,
he call news outlets fakes
and said those who opposed him he’d thump.

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Twit Limerick

February 8th, 2017

Trump wants to appear a hard hitter
by resorting to insults on Twitter.
But each time he reacts
with his typos and ‘facts’
that aren’t truthful, the world’s in a titter.

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Ivanka Limerick

February 3rd, 2017

With millions of folk in distress,
Ivanka was forced to confess,
“I think, for God’s sake,
that the poor should eat cake
while I’m showing the world my new dress.”

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Trump

February 1st, 2017

There once was a man slightly bitter
For not achieving the glory and glitter
I’ll screw you all
And build my wall
Just don’t take away my Twitter!

Cornelia Weissfloch

Slug Catcher Limerick

January 28th, 2017

A slug by its nature can’t halt
eating veggies, which isn’t its fault.
But when gard’ners get peeved
they are only relieved
once the slug has been melted with salt.

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Kellyanne Conway Limerick

January 24th, 2017

Said Kelly, “A fact isn’t true
if it puts Mister Trump in a stew;
and let me just add
that lies needn’t be bad
if conforming to our point of view.”

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Friday 13th Limerick

January 14th, 2017

On Friday the 13th they say
that inside your house you should stay
since to go out takes pluck
coz the world’s short on luck
and Jason is coming to play.

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Inauguration Limerick

January 12th, 2017

Don Trump is the man of the hour,
in the White House he’ll soon be in power;
and plans are afoot
in his bathroom to put
a Russian-made, gold-plated shower.

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New Year’s Limerick

December 31st, 2016

New Year is upon us again,
after twelve months of heartache and pain;
and like sheep we’ll all cheer
just as much the next year,
lest we’re dead or we’ve all gone insane.

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X-mas Limerick – 3

December 26th, 2016

There’s enough meat and wine without doubt,
to give even a healthy man gout.
And the hospital’s near,
if too much Christmas cheer
means your stomach requires pumping out.

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X-mas Limerick – 2

December 26th, 2016

Though ballads of wonder are sung
of how Rudolph the Reindeer’s well hung,
you have to admit
he’s an arrogant git
and he smells like an old pile of dung.

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The Irish Make Fun Of Dennis

December 15th, 2016

There once was a boy named Dennis
Who was terrible at tennis.
He’d try to hit the ball
But would swing, miss & fall—
As we laughed and all drank our Guinness.

https://about.me/dklawitter

X-mas Limerick 1

December 5th, 2016

Though Christmas is just once a year,
it isn’t a time to hold dear;
for that red-coated bloke
who makes everyone broke
is really a pain in the rear.

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Election Eve Limerick

November 6th, 2016

Said Donald, “If I should not fail
the coming election to nail,
the first day I’ll spend
signing papers to send
the poet who wrote this to jail.”

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Town Hall Limerick

October 11th, 2016

Don Trump has a very strange gift
for sounding like drugs he’s just sniffed.
And the frown on his brow
whilst engaged in a row
explains why he always looks miffed.

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Donald Turnip Video Limerick – 2

October 9th, 2016

Trumps critics have launched a barrage
of dismay as disaster looms large;
and his only supporter
is his ‘date-able’ daughter
and a pundit named Nigel Farage.

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Donald Turnip Video Limerick

October 9th, 2016

Said Don, “I am not some old dope,
I know every babe’s deepest hope.
It’s a Frenchie that’s duly
performed by yours truly,
and the world famous Donald Trump grope.

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Tax Evader Limerick

October 6th, 2016

Said Donald, “Okay, I’ve been lax
at paying my fair share of tax.
But if you should choose
to make this fact news
You’d better be watching your backs.”

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Non-Payment of Taxes Limerick

October 6th, 2016

It seems Donald Trump has been lax
in paying his federal tax,
but release of this news
Donald blames as a ruse
raised by Hillary’s media hacks.

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First Debate Limerick

September 28th, 2016

Ms Clinton’s cause got a great lift
every time Donald choked up and sniffed.
For Trump’s woeful debating
raised Hillary’s rating
and left Trump and company miffed.

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Trump’s Mexico Jaunt

September 2nd, 2016

There was an old fellow called Trump,
who on Mexico took a big dump.
Then he went there to find
out the Mexicans’ mind
and they gave him a kick in the rump.

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Usain ‘Romeo’ Bolt Limerick

August 27th, 2016

Usain’s rep has taken a jolt,
and at romance he’s proven a dolt.
For as on the track
he’s shown there’s no lack
of restraint when he’s shooting his bolt.

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Rio Olympics Limerick – 3

August 14th, 2016

The judges at Rio agree
that the pool is a strange thing to see.
But they claim you’ll survive
though you swim or you dive
into water the colour of pee.

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Farage’s New Look Limerick

August 13th, 2016

At the end of the Brexit vote bash,
Nigel ran for the door at a dash.
Then to hide from the folk
fooled by mirrors and smoke
he grew an outrageous moustache.

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