Archive for January, 2011

Fancy Dress

Sunday, January 30th, 2011

There was a young man called McHall
Who went to a fancy dress ball
He dressed as a tree,
But he failed to foresee
His abuse by the dogs in the hall

The Bi-sexual Oyster

Saturday, January 29th, 2011

According to experts, the oyster
In its shell (a crustacean cloister)
May be frequently be
Either he or a she
Or both, if it should be its choice ter.

The Old Man From The Isles

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

There was an old man from the Isles
Who suffered from terrible piles
He couldn’t sit down
Without a deep frown
So he had to row standing for miles

The Fussy Old Woman

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

A fussy old woman called Breeze
Thought her home was infested with fleas
So she used gasoline,
And her form was last seen
Flying over the tops of the trees

The Young Fellow From Leeds

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

There was young fellow from Leeds
Who loved packet of seeds
In a month, silly ass
He was wrapped up in grass
And couldn’t sit down for the weeds

Thanks to Zhara John for this

(Another variation on the rude version)

The Old Man of Madrid

Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

There was an old man of Madrid
Who ate sixty five eggs, yes he did
When asked “Are you faint”?
He replied “No I aint,
But I don’t feel as well as I did”

A Girl Called Shannon

Friday, January 21st, 2011

There once was a young girl called Shannon
Who was fired from a very large cannon
Along came young Jack
Who said ”You look quite Black”!
She said ”No I came out of a cannon!”

Anna Burrows again ( Aged 8 )

Slightly edited to make it scan

Children From Lime

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

Some children in a Park called Lime
Were arguing all of the time.
So their father said,
“Go and sit in the shed!”
And now they are getting on fine!

From the prolific Anna Burrows ( Aged 8 )

The Rat Called Justin

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011

There once was a rat named Justin
Who lived in a smelly old dust bin
Along came a cat
Who said “Sit on the mat”
“I won’t, ’cause you will just tuck in”.

Another one from Anna Burrows ( Aged 8 )

(Slightly edited to make it rhyme)

The Brown Hare

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

There once was a little brown hare
Who sat in his little green chair
Along come a horse who said
”Come join the course”
”No I won’t, it just isn’t fair

Anna Burrows ( Aged 8 )

Mummy’s Tummy

Monday, January 17th, 2011

I know of a very shrewd mummy
Who has an extremely large tummy
Inspired by all the film
She aims to get slim
And forever lose her sweet tummy

Another one from Anmol (slightly edited to make it scan)

Renovations & DIY

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

There once were two ladies online,
Who found renovations just fine;
With some paint and a level,
They’d miter and bevel,
New kitchen or closet? Designed!

They decided to build a new site,
Dedicated to renos done right;
“Go green or go home”
Is their motto and goal –
Keep your energy footprint quite light.

Save your budget from utter destruction,
Keeping “green” first, throughout your production;
Re-use and re-purpose,
But first do your homework,
Check us out for great “how-to” instruction…

Thanks to Elle for this one

Check out her blog at Renew Redo Recycle

Makeup

Sunday, January 16th, 2011

Eye shadow,mascara and lipstick
Of famous brands people pick
Apply on their face
To bring out that glaze
And spend their time with their make up kit

Submitted by Anmol Arora

On ADHD/ODD

Saturday, January 15th, 2011

I have a most challenging son,
Whose answer to me is, “Yes Mom”
He’s funny and bright
But when out of my sight
I get chills for what mayhem may come

Whenever his school phones I’m scared,
To answer the phone unprepared
His teachers all tell me
He won’t work, so-help-me
But they don’t allow duct-taping to chairs

To be honest I’m quite at a loss,
As his antics can come with a cost
The headaches I feel
Could make stucco peel
And probably leave my eyes crossed!

Submitted by Enelle Lamb

Visit her blog:

Living With ADHD/ODD

Thought provoking