Archive for August, 2012

Royal Limerick

Saturday, August 25th, 2012

The Prince told his ‘escorts’, “I’m Roger!
A typically daft British codger.”
Yet the ladies weren’t fooled,
So the media drooled
When they posted some pics of his todger.

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Olympic Limerick 9

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

The toilet might be a short jog
from the pool, but when needing the bog
Michael Phelps likes to pee
in lanes one, two and three,
whilst lane four is for laying a log.

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http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/londonspy/phelps-admits-pees-pool-160542659.html

Olympics Limerick 8

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

The men’s hundred dash was a race
that was run at spectacular pace.
In the crowd though, some dolt,
threw a bottle at Bolt,
and received a good slap round the face.

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http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/man-arrested-throwing-bottle-bolt-race-000155291.html

Olympic Limerick 7

Sunday, August 5th, 2012

Though Fed holds the number one spot,
Young Murray ain’t worried a jot.
With a masterful class
of playing on grass
It’s vict’ry to Andy – Great Scot!

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http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/murray-stuns-federer-win-olympic-gold-150557300.html

Olympic Limerick 6

Sunday, August 5th, 2012

When Ginger and Ennis and Mo
heard the crowd yelling, “Go, G.B., go!”
They gave us true grit
like any real Brit
and put on a jolly good show.

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http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/britains-greatest-olympic-day-104-years-220551262.html

Troll Limerick

Sunday, August 5th, 2012

A troll who resides in North Hants,
was famed for his hate-fuelled rants.
Then one day the Law
came and knocked on his door
and the cowardly troll peed his pants.

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Perth Limerick

Saturday, August 4th, 2012

There was an old woman from Perth,
who was short but enormous in girth.
With her white-stubbled chin
and her broad, toothless grin,
she resembled a grand-pappa Smurf.

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Pippa Limerick

Friday, August 3rd, 2012

That Lagerfield chappie’s a lout,
and needs a good lesson, no doubt.
I think this rude fellow
would be made more mellow
if Pippa could give him a clout.

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http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/i-don-t-like-pippa-middleton%E2%80%99s-face–says-chanel-designer-karl-lagerfeld.html

Olympics Limerick 5

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012

At badminton, playing to lose,
some ladies got slow claps and boos.
Then after their bout,
they got booted out
coz their gamesmanship failed to amuse.

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http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/eight-charged-throwing-olympic-badminton-matches-110108521.html

Olympics Limerick 4

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012

Whilst Wiggins continues to bloom,
we’re asking, ‘Well, what about Froome?’
Perhaps it’s his plan
that instead of best man
he hopes that he’ll soon be the groom.

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http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/wiggins-soars-olympic-time-trial-gold-144345547.html

Olympics Limerick 3

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

The coach of the USA gapes,
coz his team, in the pool, look like apes.
It’s losing that bugs,
so he blames it on drugs
as he chews on those sour Chinese grapes.

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http://uk.news.yahoo.com/row-erupts-over-chinese-swimming-sensation-051322966.html