Archive for January, 2013

Big Wave Limerick

Thursday, January 31st, 2013

Said Garrett, “Whilst on the way down
That big wave I was sure I would drown.
The moment I caught her,
my bowels turned to water –
which explains why my wetsuit is brown.”

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/world-of-sport/biggest-wave-ever-surfed-121521561.html

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Howlin’ At The Moon

Thursday, January 31st, 2013

I woke up dishevelled this morn,
full moon left me feeling forlorn.
Paul’s poems cheered me up,
replenished my cup –
to “howl” is why I was born!

F. H. Lee

SPINACH SAILOR’D

Tuesday, January 29th, 2013

Popeye found himself in a mess –
he put kitchen skills to the test – when tossing his greens,
with croutons and beans,
he Oyl’d his Olive’s black dress!

F. H. Lee

Yukon Gold

Monday, January 28th, 2013

The town of Whitehorse got its name – from rapids that looked like a mane.
The water was fast,
and destined to last –
while lights in the sky played their game.

It’s six thousand kilos from us – relentless, those winter wind gusts
bring folks to their knees –
but thanks, if you please,
no passport is needed – no fuss!

F. H. Lee

UNCLE REMUS (From Song of the South)

Saturday, January 26th, 2013

Brer Bear and Brer Fox walked one day,
down a path that could lead them astray.
Brer Rabbit was smart,
made mischief an art,
then Tar Baby got “stuck” in his way.

F. H. Lee

HAZARDous Limerick

Friday, January 25th, 2013

When Hazard decided to chase
the ballboy who slowed the game’s pace.
He walloped his quarry,
then had to say, ‘Sorry!’
adding, ‘Next time I’ll kick in your face.’

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/early-doors/eden-hazardous-terrain-090310406.html

EXAM-I-NATION

Thursday, January 24th, 2013

This week my three sons start exams.
They usually seem like sweet lambs,
but now time is tight,
on Friday they write,
so lock horns like bone-headed rams!

F. H. Lee

Michelle Obama Limerick

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

The US of A’s in a mess,
The economy’s swimming in cess.
The NRA call
for machine guns for all,
but at least Michelle’s got a new dress.

http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/michelle-obama-dazzles-the-crowds-in-a-red-jason-wu-dress-at-the-commander-in-chief%E2%80%99s-inaugural-ball-092242454.html

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Lance Armstrong Limerick

Sunday, January 20th, 2013

There once was a cheater called Lance
who led us a merry old dance.
Whilst doping for years
he bullied his peers
and devalued the great Tour de France.

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Snail Male

Sunday, January 20th, 2013

My daughter drew me a brown toad,
that had a hard time with his load.
He looked like a snail,
with a dragonfly tail,
and six tiny legs that were bowed.

His nickname turned out to be Mo,
at night he developed a glow,
which flicked off and on,
’til just before dawn,
when it hopped off the page into snow.

The slime trail was sticky and thick,
’til this poor toad bumped into a brick,
new snowshoes were bent,
his skis had a dent,
so he flew back to nest with the chicks.

Abandoned by all that he met,
this toad was as sad as they get.
He was given a smile,
that lasted awhile,
until my daughter’s paper got wet.

(poor thing, was cute while it lasted!)

F. H. Lee

Post Christmas Purge

Friday, January 18th, 2013

I thought Santa cherished his wife
and lived such a frivilous life.
But he stood to the side,
winked at me and then lied,
as he put the tree skirt back in place.

I was shocked to learn Santa could flirt,
as he replaced the Christmas tree skirt.
How naive have I been,
to not notice his lean,
‘neath his tight red & white muscle shirt.

F. H. Lee

Horses For Courses Limerick

Friday, January 18th, 2013

Some people might claim that a horse
shouldn’t really be served as main course.
But swapping of stable
for restaurant table
is fine if you’ve got the right sauce.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/ireland-horse-dna-found-beef-burgers-203106586.html?bcmt_s=m#ugccmt-container

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Tiger Limerick

Sunday, January 13th, 2013

Three million bucks was the fee
Tiger asked, though he had a game knee.
But his hotel had floors
five and six stocked with … Coors
on the house – so he played golf for free.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/golf-qataris-refuse-pay-tiger-woodss-enormous-appearance-074732120.html?bcmt_s=m#ugccmt-container

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

Showshoe Hare

Sunday, January 13th, 2013

She perched in the chair on a dare,
one ponytail hovered mid-air.
With both eyes squeezed shut,
at the sound of the cut,
she ran like a lopsided hare!

F. H. Lee