Archive for March, 2015

Jeremy Clarkson Limerick – 2

Thursday, March 26th, 2015

Poor Jezza was in a foul mood,
when offered a plate of cold food.
Then blaming his crew,
the words and fists flew,
for which he may well end up sued.

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Jeremy Clarkson Limerick

Thursday, March 26th, 2015

Thought Clarkson, ‘It’s fun to let rip,
and punch someone straight in the lip.’
But it seems that this time
he’s crossed a red line,
so farewell, au revoir, toodle pip.

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England’s Cricketing Debacle

Tuesday, March 10th, 2015

Alas, England’s cricketers slumped,
and out of the tourney were dumped.
And back home in Blighty,
a country once mighty
at cricket feels thoroughly stumped.

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Sleep

Friday, March 6th, 2015

A woman unable to sleep
who got so bored that she could weep
she tossed and turned
and the lesson she learned
is at night you can only count on sheep

Cornelia Weissfloch

Politics

Friday, March 6th, 2015

There once was a woman in awe
of all politicians she saw
I too want to talk
and walk the walk
And completely ignore the law!

Cornelia Weissfloch

Bankers Limerick

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

Some bankers have been rather lax,
helping customers fiddle their tax;
and when things got fraught,
to avoid getting caught,
they hurriedly covered their tracks.

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Kids

Sunday, March 1st, 2015

There once was a lady aghast
at how quickly time had passed
one day they walk
another they talk
and next their feet grow far too fast!

There once was a mother of twins
listening to the battle of kins
I’m going to kill you
I’ll kill you too
it’ll be lonely for the one who wins…

A lady with very loud kids
although she loved them to bits
she decided to act
it is now a fact
a bit of ducttape saves your wits!

Cornelia Weissfloch (Slightly edited to make them scan)

Weird Dress Limerick

Sunday, March 1st, 2015

I’m wearing a weird kind of dress,
whose colours are tricky to guess.
And though risking rebuke,
I’ll admit that it’s puke –
from a dodgy fruit salad, no less.

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