Funny Limericks For Everyone

New Year is upon us again,
after twelve months of heartache and pain;
and like sheep we’ll all cheer
just as much the next year,
lest we’re dead or we’ve all gone insane.

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There’s enough meat and wine without doubt,
to give even a healthy man gout.
And the hospital’s near,
if too much Christmas cheer
means your stomach requires pumping out.

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Though ballads of wonder are sung
of how Rudolph the Reindeer’s well hung,
you have to admit
he’s an arrogant git
and he smells like an old pile of dung.

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There once was a boy named Dennis
Who was terrible at tennis.
He’d try to hit the ball
But would swing, miss & fall—
As we laughed and all drank our Guinness.

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Though Christmas is just once a year,
it isn’t a time to hold dear;
for that red-coated bloke
who makes everyone broke
is really a pain in the rear.

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