Poetry Super League Limerick

May 7th, 2021

A super league poet am I,
I’m in it for dosh, I can’t lie.
I want to be rich,
though it seems there’s a glitch,
for my writing is boring and dry.

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On St. George’s Day

April 27th, 2021

An Englishman George the Greek aint,
and since killing monsters is quaint,
his claim for distinction
was dragon extinction
and being the Brits’ patron saint.

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The Man From Brazil

April 8th, 2021

A selfish young man from Brazil
always ate plenty more than his fill.
So please spare a thought
for his mother who bought
all the groceries and paid the bill.

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Suez Crisis Limerick

March 26th, 2021

Whilst chugging along at its ease,
having paid its canal passage fees,
sea transport was rocked
when the Suez got blocked
by a ship turning ninety degrees.

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Piers Morgan Limerick

March 10th, 2021

Piers Morgan was put on the spot
and instructed to stop talking rot.
So he got to his feet
and he beat the retreat
like a child throwing toys from his cot.

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Meghan Markle Interview Limerick

March 10th, 2021

In one of the interview scenes,
Meghan says that the strength of her genes
led to worries the kin
of the Queen would have skin
rather brown, so she’s spilling the beans.

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Ted Cruz Limerick

February 28th, 2021

There once was a Texan buffoon,
who fled snow and ice for Cancún.
As he stepped out the door,
he shook Snowflake’s paw,
saying: “Dawg, I’ll be seein’ yer soon.”

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Fashion Icon Limerick

February 13th, 2021

The latest Kardashian tips
on fashion caused biting of lips;
for pain you can’t hide
from bikini tops tied
upside-down, roughly rubbing your nips.

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Insurrection Limerick

January 28th, 2021

When Donald Trump lost the election,
his base’s more volatile section
did Donald Trump’s will,
marched on Capitol Hill
and started an armed insurrection.

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Storming of the Capitol Limerick

January 28th, 2021

Claimed Trump of the lawless alt-right,
I said, metaphorically, “Fight!”
So how dare the left,
Of ideas so bereft,
Blame me for America’s plight.

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Trump and the Truth Limerick

December 17th, 2020

When you’ve fallen for Donald Trump’s lies,
it’s the day that democracy dies.
Now’s the time that you hunker
on down in your bunker
with your Second Amendment supplies.

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Trump and the Votes Limerick

December 17th, 2020

Said Donald, exuding derision:
“The vote counts weren’t done with precision;
so now we must spike
the results we don’t like
and suggest it’s the People’s decision.”

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Presidential Road Trip Limerick

October 6th, 2020

Said Trump: “Though the Reaper’s ahoy,
I’ll act like a spoilt little boy,
and despite Covid’s grip,
I shall go for a trip
in a car spreading more than just joy.”

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Anastasia From Bytom

October 3rd, 2020

One young wife Anastasia from Bytom
Chose a priestly live in an adytum.
One thing remained to be told:
“My husband, you are too old –
You don’t quite master your… precious item

Ivonna Nowicka

Doesn’t quite scan, but we get the idea!!

 

Debate Debacle Limerick

October 2nd, 2020

While Donald and Joseph were telling
the public what they were both selling
the fractious debate
made neither look great
and ended in insults and yelling.

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Presidential Tax Woes Get Hairy

September 29th, 2020

Trump’s tax situation’s laid bare,
and he hasn’t been paying his share.
But what can one say
of the 70k
for styling his comb over hair?

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Ticketing Row Limerick

August 21st, 2020

The airlines that claimed to be poor
and were bailed out from bankruptcy’s maw,
make sure if you need
to return home at speed,
the price of your ticket will soar.

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Mail Service 1 Limerick

August 21st, 2020

Trump’s plans for election night theft
leads to mail service changes most deft.
Machines stay unmended
and overtime’s ended
especially in states leaning left.

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Steve Bannon Limerick

August 21st, 2020

Said Bannon: “Good morning, you all!
Send money, we’re building the Wall!”
But, oh, golly gosh,
he’s used up the dosh
to finance his having a ball.

 

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Nude German Limerick

August 8th, 2020

The boar took the laptop and ran,
pursued by a buck naked man.
and thanks to his run,
in the park, in the sun,
he now has an all over tan.

Naked man chases wild boar through public park after swine steals his laptop

 

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Super Saturday Limerick

July 6th, 2020

Super Saturday’s long overdue;
so I’m off to the pub for a few.
And after the bingeing
we’re sure to be whinging
of streets that are swimming in spew.

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The Great Saleswoman

July 4th, 2020

There once was a woman called Moore,
Who worked at a clothing store.
She sold lots of duds
To nerds, jocks, and studs,
Till she ruled the whole selling floor.

Thanks again to Birke R Duncan

The Great Attorney

July 4th, 2020

There once was a lawyer called Jill
Who found litigation a thrill.
Her cases her settled.
Her rivals were nettled,
And the bill to Jill’s clients was nil.

Thanks to Birke R Duncan for this one

Ramping it Up (or Down)

June 26th, 2020

Although it was not very steep,
down the ramp fragile Donald did creep.
But his rivals he’d blast
for poor health in the past,
so dear Prez, as you sow, so you reap.

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Bournemouth Lockdown Fiasco

June 26th, 2020

The English have not got a clue;
to Bournemouth’s famed beaches they flew,
and shared all their bugs
as they sunbathed like mugs,
like lemmings in search of a view.

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