Presidential Road Trip Limerick

October 6th, 2020

Said Trump: “Though the Reaper’s ahoy,
I’ll act like a spoilt little boy,
and despite Covid’s grip,
I shall go for a trip
in a car spreading more than just joy.”

Anastasia From Bytom

October 3rd, 2020

One young wife Anastasia from Bytom
Chose a priestly live in an adytum.
One thing remained to be told:
“My husband, you are too old –
You don’t quite master your… precious item

Ivonna Nowicka

Doesn’t quite scan, but we get the idea!!


Debate Debacle Limerick

October 2nd, 2020

While Donald and Joseph were telling
the public what they were both selling
the fractious debate
made neither look great
and ended in insults and yelling.

Presidential Tax Woes Get Hairy

September 29th, 2020

Trump’s tax situation’s laid bare,
and he hasn’t been paying his share.
But what can one say
of the 70k
for styling his comb over hair?

Ticketing Row Limerick

August 21st, 2020

The airlines that claimed to be poor
and were bailed out from bankruptcy’s maw,
make sure if you need
to return home at speed,
the price of your ticket will soar.

Mail Service 1 Limerick

August 21st, 2020

Trump’s plans for election night theft
leads to mail service changes most deft.
Machines stay unmended
and overtime’s ended
especially in states leaning left.

Steve Bannon Limerick

August 21st, 2020

Said Bannon: “Good morning, you all!
Send money, we’re building the Wall!”
But, oh, golly gosh,
he’s used up the dosh
to finance his having a ball.

Nude German Limerick

August 8th, 2020

The boar took the laptop and ran,
pursued by a buck naked man.
and thanks to his run,
in the park, in the sun,
he now has an all over tan.

Naked man chases wild boar through public park after swine steals his laptop

Super Saturday Limerick

July 6th, 2020

Super Saturday’s long overdue;
so I’m off to the pub for a few.
And after the bingeing
we’re sure to be whinging
of streets that are swimming in spew.

The Great Saleswoman

July 4th, 2020

There once was a woman called Moore,
Who worked at a clothing store.
She sold lots of duds
To nerds, jocks, and studs,
Till she ruled the whole selling floor.

Thanks again to Birke R Duncan

The Great Attorney

July 4th, 2020

There once was a lawyer called Jill
Who found litigation a thrill.
Her cases her settled.
Her rivals were nettled,
And the bill to Jill’s clients was nil.

Thanks to Birke R Duncan for this one

Ramping it Up (or Down)

June 26th, 2020

Although it was not very steep,
down the ramp fragile Donald did creep.
But his rivals he’d blast
for poor health in the past,
so dear Prez, as you sow, so you reap.

Bournemouth Lockdown Fiasco

June 26th, 2020

The English have not got a clue;
to Bournemouth’s famed beaches they flew,
and shared all their bugs
as they sunbathed like mugs,
like lemmings in search of a view.

Joke out of a Crisis Limerick

June 26th, 2020

On Covid-19 what to do?
The President hasn’t a clue.
So to rally his base
and avoid losing face,
he jokingly calls it Kung flu.

Winston Churchill Limerick

June 14th, 2020

Back then, Winston Churchill crossed swords
with goosestepping, Teutonic hordes.
The country held fast,
but that was the past,
for today Winnie’s hidden by boards.

Lawrie’s Beard

May 1st, 2020

There once was a codger called Lawrie
Whose life was an allegory
At a gath’ring with friends,
He confessed at the end,
“My beard is my crowning glory.”

Another from Birke Duncan.

The Director

May 1st, 2020

There was a director called Fact,
Who had all the good actors sacked.
He fell from the loft
On something not soft,
And had it put into the act.

Thanks to Birke Duncan for this one.

Trump’s U-V Treatment

April 26th, 2020

When they’ve found the correct U-V brand
of lamp, we’ll see Pence lend a hand
shove it up Donald’s butt,
where each flatulent ‘Phutt!’
will result in those close getting tanned.

Spiders. Little Miss Muffet Limerick For Gender Equality

March 13th, 2020

There was a young girl who attracted
an ugly old hairy arachnid.
Now, to just run away
would not save the day,
but a big stick to give him a whack did.

This Limerick is a re-telling of the rhyme “Little Miss Muffet” for the age of gender equality.

Thanks to Geoffrey Hill for that.

State of the Union Limerick

February 6th, 2020

As Donald Trump tightens his grip,
and impeachment’s no more than a blip,
each Democrat caucus,
gets more and more raucous,
and Nancy Pelosi lets rip.

‘God Sent us Trump’ Limerick

February 1st, 2020

Though Trump is an ignorant boomer,
and tougher to tame than a tumour,
the fact that this goof
rules the U.S. is proof
that god has a weird sense of humour.

Harry In Vancouver Limerick

January 21st, 2020

Prince Harry’s no longer a mover;
he lives in suburban Vancouver.
His own socks he’s stitching,
he cooks in the kitchen,
and is learning the joys of the Hoover.

Hal and Meg Limerick (2)

January 16th, 2020

When Harry and Meg say goodbye
to detractors who spat in their eye,
I wish them the best
as they flee from the nest
with a whiskey and Canada Dry.

New Year Resolution Limerick

January 16th, 2020

On New Year I vowed that the mounds
of fat would in leaps and in bounds
melt away in the gym
as I strove to get slim,
but alas I’m still piling on pounds.

Piers Doubles Down

January 14th, 2020

Piers Morgan is feeling quite pissed,
so Harry and Meghan he’s dissed.
His motive has been
to suck up to the Queen
to appear on the next honours’ list