Said Macron: “I’m such a nice chap,
the type people cheer and they clap;
so something’s amiss
when I’ve earned a French kiss,
but instead I receive a French slap.”
Emmanuel Macron Limerick
June 12th, 2021Limerick on the Occasion of Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds’ Wedding
May 31st, 2021The wedding gift list,” Boris said,
on the day he and Carrie got wed,
“won’t need to be filled
if my wallpaper’s billed,
so just send me money instead.”
Eurovision Limerick
May 27th, 2021This contest’s a monstrous hill
to climb if you don’t fit the bill.
And so, once again,
we’ve suffered the pain
of hearing: “UK. Total – nil!”
Freedom of Speech Limerick
May 19th, 2021Prince Harry has said he can teach
the Yanks about freedom of speech;
but some aren’t impressed
that his views he’s expressed:
“You should keep your mouth shut!” they screech.
Limerick to World’s End
May 16th, 2021We’re fiddling while Rome gets ignited,
and humans, by new germs, are blighted.
Yet some braying mules
and conspiracy fools
insist on remaining short-sighted.
Poetry Super League Limerick
May 7th, 2021A super league poet am I,
I’m in it for dosh, I can’t lie.
I want to be rich,
though it seems there’s a glitch,
for my poems are boring and dry.
On St. George’s Day
April 27th, 2021An Englishman George the Greek aint,
and since killing monsters is quaint,
his claim for distinction
was dragon extinction
and being the Brits’ patron saint.
The Man From Brazil
April 8th, 2021A selfish young man from Brazil
always ate plenty more than his fill.
So please spare a thought
for his mother who bought
all the groceries and paid the bill.
Suez Crisis Limerick
March 26th, 2021Whilst chugging along at its ease,
having paid its canal passage fees,
sea transport was rocked
when the Suez got blocked
by a ship turning ninety degrees.
Piers Morgan Limerick
March 10th, 2021Piers Morgan was put on the spot
and instructed to stop talking rot.
So he got to his feet
and he beat the retreat
like a child throwing toys from his cot.
Meghan Markle Interview Limerick
March 10th, 2021In one of the interview scenes,
Meghan says that the strength of her genes
led to worries the kin
of the Queen would have skin
rather brown, so she’s spilling the beans.
Ted Cruz Limerick
February 28th, 2021There once was a Texan buffoon,
who fled snow and ice for Cancún.
As he stepped out the door,
he shook Snowflake’s paw,
saying: “Dawg, I’ll be seein’ yer soon.”
Fashion Icon Limerick
February 13th, 2021The latest Kardashian tips
on fashion caused biting of lips;
for pain you can’t hide
from bikini tops tied
upside-down, roughly rubbing your nips.
Insurrection Limerick
January 28th, 2021When Donald Trump lost the election,
his base’s more volatile section
did Donald Trump’s will,
marched on Capitol Hill
and started an armed insurrection.
Storming of the Capitol Limerick
January 28th, 2021Claimed Trump of the lawless alt-right,
I said, metaphorically, “Fight!”
So how dare the left,
Of ideas so bereft,
Blame me for America’s plight.
Trump and the Truth Limerick
December 17th, 2020When you’ve fallen for Donald Trump’s lies,
it’s the day that democracy dies.
Now’s the time that you hunker
on down in your bunker
with your Second Amendment supplies.
Trump and the Votes Limerick
December 17th, 2020Said Donald, exuding derision:
“The vote counts weren’t done with precision;
so now we must spike
the results we don’t like
and suggest it’s the People’s decision.”
Presidential Road Trip Limerick
October 6th, 2020Said Trump: “Though the Reaper’s ahoy,
I’ll act like a spoilt little boy,
and despite Covid’s grip,
I shall go for a trip
in a car spreading more than just joy.”
Anastasia From Bytom
October 3rd, 2020One young wife Anastasia from Bytom
Chose a priestly live in an adytum.
One thing remained to be told:
“My husband, you are too old –
You don’t quite master your… precious item
Ivonna Nowicka
Doesn’t quite scan, but we get the idea!!
Debate Debacle Limerick
October 2nd, 2020While Donald and Joseph were telling
the public what they were both selling
the fractious debate
made neither look great
and ended in insults and yelling.
Presidential Tax Woes Get Hairy
September 29th, 2020Trump’s tax situation’s laid bare,
and he hasn’t been paying his share.
But what can one say
of the 70k
for styling his comb over hair?
Ticketing Row Limerick
August 21st, 2020The airlines that claimed to be poor
and were bailed out from bankruptcy’s maw,
make sure if you need
to return home at speed,
the price of your ticket will soar.
Mail Service 1 Limerick
August 21st, 2020Trump’s plans for election night theft
leads to mail service changes most deft.
Machines stay unmended
and overtime’s ended
especially in states leaning left.
Steve Bannon Limerick
August 21st, 2020Said Bannon: “Good morning, you all!
Send money, we’re building the Wall!”
But, oh, golly gosh,
he’s used up the dosh
to finance his having a ball.
Nude German Limerick
August 8th, 2020The boar took the laptop and ran,
pursued by a buck naked man.
and thanks to his run,
in the park, in the sun,
he now has an all over tan.
Naked man chases wild boar through public park after swine steals his laptop