The airlines that claimed to be poor
and were bailed out from bankruptcy’s maw,
make sure if you need
to return home at speed,
the price of your ticket will soar.
Ticketing Row Limerick
August 21st, 2020Mail Service 1 Limerick
August 21st, 2020Trump’s plans for election night theft
leads to mail service changes most deft.
Machines stay unmended
and overtime’s ended
especially in states leaning left.
Steve Bannon Limerick
August 21st, 2020Said Bannon: “Good morning, you all!
Send money, we’re building the Wall!”
But, oh, golly gosh,
he’s used up the dosh
to finance his having a ball.
Nude German Limerick
August 8th, 2020The boar took the laptop and ran,
pursued by a buck naked man.
and thanks to his run,
in the park, in the sun,
he now has an all over tan.
Naked man chases wild boar through public park after swine steals his laptop
Super Saturday Limerick
July 6th, 2020Super Saturday’s long overdue;
so I’m off to the pub for a few.
And after the bingeing
we’re sure to be whinging
of streets that are swimming in spew.
The Great Saleswoman
July 4th, 2020There once was a woman called Moore,
Who worked at a clothing store.
She sold lots of duds
To nerds, jocks, and studs,
Till she ruled the whole selling floor.
Thanks again to Birke R Duncan
The Great Attorney
July 4th, 2020There once was a lawyer called Jill
Who found litigation a thrill.
Her cases her settled.
Her rivals were nettled,
And the bill to Jill’s clients was nil.
Thanks to Birke R Duncan for this one
Ramping it Up (or Down)
June 26th, 2020Although it was not very steep,
down the ramp fragile Donald did creep.
But his rivals he’d blast
for poor health in the past,
so dear Prez, as you sow, so you reap.
Bournemouth Lockdown Fiasco
June 26th, 2020The English have not got a clue;
to Bournemouth’s famed beaches they flew,
and shared all their bugs
as they sunbathed like mugs,
like lemmings in search of a view.
Joke out of a Crisis Limerick
June 26th, 2020On Covid-19 what to do?
The President hasn’t a clue.
So to rally his base
and avoid losing face,
he jokingly calls it Kung flu.
Winston Churchill Limerick
June 14th, 2020Back then, Winston Churchill crossed swords
with goosestepping, Teutonic hordes.
The country held fast,
but that was the past,
for today Winnie’s hidden by boards.
Lawrie’s Beard
May 1st, 2020There once was a codger called Lawrie
Whose life was an allegory
At a gath’ring with friends,
He confessed at the end,
“My beard is my crowning glory.”
Another from Birke Duncan.
The Director
May 1st, 2020There was a director called Fact,
Who had all the good actors sacked.
He fell from the loft
On something not soft,
And had it put into the act.
Thanks to Birke Duncan for this one.
Trump’s U-V Treatment
April 26th, 2020When they’ve found the correct U-V brand
of lamp, we’ll see Pence lend a hand
shove it up Donald’s butt,
where each flatulent ‘Phutt!’
will result in those close getting tanned.
Spiders. Little Miss Muffet Limerick For Gender Equality
March 13th, 2020There was a young girl who attracted
an ugly old hairy arachnid.
Now, to just run away
would not save the day,
but a big stick to give him a whack did.
This Limerick is a re-telling of the rhyme “Little Miss Muffet” for the age of gender equality.
Thanks to Geoffrey Hill for that.
State of the Union Limerick
February 6th, 2020As Donald Trump tightens his grip,
and impeachment’s no more than a blip,
each Democrat caucus,
gets more and more raucous,
and Nancy Pelosi lets rip.
‘God Sent us Trump’ Limerick
February 1st, 2020Though Trump is an ignorant boomer,
and tougher to tame than a tumour,
the fact that this goof
rules the U.S. is proof
that god has a weird sense of humour.
Harry In Vancouver Limerick
January 21st, 2020Prince Harry’s no longer a mover;
he lives in suburban Vancouver.
His own socks he’s stitching,
he cooks in the kitchen,
and is learning the joys of the Hoover.
Hal and Meg Limerick (2)
January 16th, 2020When Harry and Meg say goodbye
to detractors who spat in their eye,
I wish them the best
as they flee from the nest
with a whiskey and Canada Dry.
New Year Resolution Limerick
January 16th, 2020On New Year I vowed that the mounds
of fat would in leaps and in bounds
melt away in the gym
as I strove to get slim,
but alas I’m still piling on pounds.
Piers Doubles Down
January 14th, 2020Piers Morgan is feeling quite pissed,
so Harry and Meghan he’s dissed.
His motive has been
to suck up to the Queen
to appear on the next honours’ list
A Swimmer Called Mark
January 8th, 2020There once was a swimmer named Mark,
Who one day encountered a shark,
He suggested a race,
But the fish beat his pace,
And the water around them went dark.
Thanks to Terry Akee for this.
Kim Jong Un Limerick
January 2nd, 2020Kim Jong Un’s awesome attributes fill me
with pride and his mighty deeds will me
to say he’s the best,
it’s a loyalty test –
if I don’t he’ll send someone to kill me.
Sydney Bridge Limerick
December 31st, 2019Though in Sydney the air makes you choke,
every sheila and brash Aussie bloke
still insists you should go
to their firework show
even if you can’t see through the smoke.
BoJo On Holiday Limerick
December 25th, 2019The men of Westminster aren’t hunks,
in fact most are ugly old skunks;
so please do not leak
any pics from Mustique
of BoJo attired in his trunks.