Funny Limericks For Everyone

There was a small girl with a ball
Who grew up to be very tall
When the ball bounced real high
She reached up in the sky
And caught it before it could fall

Submitted by GMP

There was an old farmer of Slough
Who told me he’s swallowed a cow
I can’t say I know
If he’d really done so
But that’s what he said, anyhow.

A puppy whose hair was so flowing
There really was no means of knowing
Which end was his head,
Once stopped me and said,
“Please, sir, am I coming or going?”

There was an old man who said “If
I could climb to the top of that cliff
I should get a nice breeze.
Oh! I do wish my knees
Were not so confoundedly stiff

There was an old man of Lorraine
Who trespassed on Salisbury Plain.
But I hit him a lick
With a fairly thick stick
And I don’t think he’ll trespass again!

There was an old man called McNab
Who once ate for supper a crab
Twelve lobsters, eight snipe,
And a large dish of tripe
(He had to go home in a cab)

Thanks people keep them on-coming
For I have a blog that is running
But first blow your nose
and wipe your sleeve’s prose
and exorcise devilish punning.

Contributed by Alexander Proudfoot

A waitress in black lingerie
Served the black forest gateau for free
She said “Eat my cake
all bread’s a mistake
in my free-lovin’ philosophy”.

Contributed by Alexander Proudfoot

Let’s be gone said a man to his wife
In London it’s trouble and strife
So he moved from the city
Which was a pity
He was bored for the rest of his life!