Funny Limericks For Everyone

We found Haywood at the dining room table
To move him we were quite unable,
On this you can rely
It was a pound moon pie
That left him so disabled.

Thanks to Spartan Caver for this

There once was a old hunky monkey,
Who was very cheeky and hunky,
He lived in a zoo,
His toy was a shoe,
And that was the old hunky monkey.

Many Thanks Clara

Mark was a working class bloke
Who’s thirst at the bar kept him broke
But the cancer foundation
Pushed new legislation
Now he goes out the back for a smoke

Thanks Malcom from Oz for this

There was once a woman from Leeds;
Who swallowed a packet of seeds,
In less then an hour,
Her nose grew a flower,
And her hair was covered in weeds.

Thanks Lydia (Nice change from the rude version)

My butt and the saddle kept hitting
So often it seemed only fitting,
To drop the word ‘ride’
Semantics aside,
It seemed more like horseback ‘sitting’

Thanks to Mike Dinicola for this (I know the feeling 🙂 )

There was once a poor old spinster
Who was left alone all winter
When spring came again
They found on the glen
The poor girl died of a splinter

Thanks to Peter Austin for this