Funny Limericks For Everyone

Will Shakespeare was a writer of plays
which even today still amaze.
One of his best is Othello,
about a certain royal fellow
who regretted his envious ways.

Submitted by Philip Leibfried

One night, feeling drunk and unhinged,
on hot chili peppers I binged.
My stomach felt dire,
my tongue was on fire
and later my rectum got singed.

Thanks Paul

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

This limerick is for my dad
He’s the biggest influence I’ve had
I’m glad that my father
Is willing to bother
To help me through life, good and bad.

Nice thought from David.

http://davesbigfatlimericksite.weebly.com/

A zookeeper from the Bahamas,
fed his monkeys delicious bananas.
Then one night – coming late –
it was he the chimps ate
on account of his yellow pyjamas.

From Paul Freeman

www.paulfreeman.weebly.com

This is some old rotten jerky
And this is some rank rotten turkey
Its all rotten meat
And it smells like old feet
Rotten meat can be quite quirky

Again from Michael (also edited to make it scan)

You know what I should forget it
I really do wish I was fit
Does this make me look fat?
I cant wear this small hat
And now I cant even sit!

Another one from Michael (slightly edited to make it scan)

There was a crazy man “Camping”
Predicting raptures happening
When God did not show
He had to eat crow
Again his mouth was a crapping

Submitted by Jim Dietrich

(Well it almost rhymes)

You walk really really far
Just to go to a bar
The bar is closed down
You cry till you drown
You should’ve taken your car

Thanks to Michael for this

A musical student called Carter,
was truly a magnificent farter,
on the strength of a bean
he’d fart God Save the Queen
and Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

Submitted by Ian Gravenor

There once was a man named Alan
who’d approach women upon his stallion.
At their feet he would grovel,
like a cheap romance novel,
and proceed to drink beer by the gallon.

Submitted by Rebecca