Funny Limericks For Everyone

Said Donald, “My dear, darling Poots,
Perhaps we could wear matching suits;
and then, with my tongue,
once your praises I’ve sung,
I’ll happily lick clean your boots.”

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The Three Lions’ loss was a wrench;
for the final we sat on the bench.
But once all is told,
fortune favours the bold,
so congrats to the fabulous French.

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At Windsor, the Donald, I see,
is meeting the Queen as the key
to a national trade deal,
though it seems most Brits feel
they’d rather she spat in his tea.

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Though England’s World Cup run’s a boon,
with the rarity of a blue moon,
it has to be said,
our dreams are now dead,
and it will not be coming home soon.

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So England are in the last four,
and we’ve now heard the three lions roar.
So come Wednesday night
we hope for the sight
of them showing the Croats the door.

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When the England team got on their bus,
they started to swear and to cuss.
For Colombian flair
had proven unfair
and won them more Oscars than us.

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Mi righting scills offen kreate
much jelasy, envey and hayte.
So inn sbite of thoz terds
hoo put doun my werds,
isle still mayk Amerika grate.

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Alas! It seems Neymar’s laid low;
to Brazil’s World Cup hopes it’s a blow;
and there’s palpable fear
he’ll be out for a year –
for he’s just gone and stubbed his big toe.

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The ast’roid that left us agog
looked like something that floats in the bog.
So perhaps from the loo
of the Enterprise crew
what we saw was the famed ‘Captain’s log’.

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The French match brought copious tears
to the Argentine players whose fears
of a loss came to pass,
so we all raised a glass
in England and broke out the beers.

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