Funny Limericks For Everyone

If poems are written to flatter,
or just form a verbiage-strewn splatter,
they’re no better than
a filling-less flan
or fillets of cod without batter.

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My vision is awfully bold,”
said Boris, “though some think it cold.
To keep the state running
and industry gunning,
forget about anyone old.”

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We already knew ‘a’, ‘b’, ‘c’,
and probably ‘1’, ‘2’ and ‘3’.
But then we learned ‘dog’,
which was followed by ‘frog’,
and some pronouns like ‘I’, ‘you’ and ‘we’.

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Oh, Katie, you make us all wonder,
in view of your latest great blunder;
Can’t you do as you’re told?
Breaking rules isn’t bold!
It gets you kicked out from Down-Under.

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The crew deemed their shipmate a turd
o’er an albatross, shot, so they heard
with the old sailor’s bow,
causing ill-fortune, so
they collectively gave him the bird.

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A cat in a hat made a mess,
putting two kids at home under stress.
Then the cat pulled some strings
and enlisting two Things
cleaned the house in a minute or less.

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I wandered alone like a cloud,
seeing daffodils all in a crowd.
And now if Life glowers,
with thoughts of those flowers,
my joy in the world’s re-avowed.

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It’s taken us fifty-five years
of prayers and crossed-fingers and tears
to get within sight
of a cup-winning night,
so till then let us break out the beers.

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Of the thugs who assaulted Chris Whitty
in St. James’s Park, in the City,
one’s just lost his job
on account he’s a yob,
oh dear, what a shame, such a pity.

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