His black-painted face was inciting;
the media commentary biting.
And so in the end
he plumped to defend
the photos by blaming poor lighting.
Black-Face Limerick
September 30th, 2019Boris Legs It Limerick
September 17th, 2019In Luxembourg, Boris’s smile,
lasted only a very short while.
At the sound of, “No Brexit”,
he made for the exit
and ran a proverbial mile.
Royal Budget Flight Limerick
August 24th, 2019Though William and Kate are celebs,
and their plane carried Kylie and Debs,
the twain didn’t meet
because each royal seat
was kept well away from the plebs.
Hal and Meg Limerick
August 21st, 2019Though they warn us about acid rain,
and world temperature’s getting insane,
Prince Harry and Meg
must be pulling our leg,
for they constantly travel by plane.
A$AP Rocky Limerick
July 30th, 2019A$AP Rocky believed that he could
keep from jail after doing no good;
but like President Trump,
he came down with a bump
when the Swedes said: “This isn’t your hood.”
Cricket Final Limerick
July 18th, 2019The English were caught in a fix
as their batsmen fast ran out of tricks,
then when Stokes ran for two
an outfielder threw
and deflected a fortunate six.
Women’s World Cup Limerick
July 12th, 2019Alas, when it came to the crunch,
the USA ate us for lunch.
But this talented team,
though they played like a dream,
are a highly unlikable bunch.
Diplomatic Cables Limerick
July 12th, 2019The White House was angered a lot
by messages leaked by some clot.
And as was expected,
once Trump had reflected
he threw all his toys from his cot.
Royal Nanny Limerick
July 2nd, 2019Misfortune’s when one nanny quits,
and it’s tough if a second one gits.
But now we have heard
of the loss of a third,
which means Meghan and Hal are the pits.
Dictator Bromance Limerick
July 2nd, 2019Said Donald: “True love’s when I see
darling Vladimir seated by me.
Yet nothing can beat
a photo-op meet
with dear Kim in Korea’s DMZ.”
The Camberwell Mystery Limerick
June 28th, 2019Was it things that go bump in the night,
or an earthquake’s formidable might?
I have to confess
that it’s anyone’s guess
coz Boris’s lips are shut tight.
Trump State Visit – 3
June 4th, 2019It seems Boris Johnson’s a man
who Trump deems a genuine fan;
so he gave him the nod
coz they’re peas in a pod
and a Mini-Me’s part of Trump’s plan.
Trump State Visit – 2
June 4th, 2019The Palace staff thought it a joke
when the White House liaisoning folk
said: “In order to feed
Donald Trump, all you need
is hamburgers, fries and a Coke.”
Trump State Visit – 1
June 4th, 2019Said Donald, “Till now I’ve been seen
to be uncouth and greedy and mean.
But today I’ve arrived,
coz I’ve gone and contrived
to sit down and have tea with the Queen.”
Everest Traffic Jam Limerick
May 30th, 2019From the Top of the World is a view
that has only been seen by a few;
but now all’s not fine
coz the peak has a line
that is worse than a post office queue.
Trump In Japan Limerick
May 29th, 2019Said Donald: “This ain’t food for guys;
eating sushi and seaweed surprise
might be good for a man
who was born in Japan,
but I need my burgers and fries.”
EU Parliament Vote Limerick
May 29th, 2019Said Nigel: “I’m having a ball,
watching Tory and Labour seats fall,
and cometh the hour,
when I am in power,
these traitors are first ‘gainst the wall.”
Milkshake Limerick
May 22nd, 2019Both Tommy and Nige were forlorn
and believe that a line must be drawn;
for though milkshakes taste good,
it must be understood,
they’re for drinking and not to be worn.
MS’s LGBT Sandwich Limerick
May 7th, 2019Piers Morgan had oodles to say
on a sandwich he claimed to be gay;
and yet his obsession
gave folks the impression
he’ll emerge from the closet one day.
Brexit Party Limerick – 2
May 5th, 2019Said Nigel: “My party’s a club
with nationalist thought at its hub.
And we often debate
in a falling down state
over ten pints of beer down the pub.
Brexit Party Limerick
May 5th, 2019Farage may appeal to his base
who want Brexit to come on apace.
But how can you vote
for a bleating old goat
with a rubbery, muppet-like face?
Brexit Halloween Limerick
April 12th, 2019The deal says on All Hallow’s Eve,
the E.U. we’re destined to leave.
But like ghosts which they say
are abroad on that day,
it seems too far-fetched to believe.
… and in Brexit News
April 12th, 2019So ‘Brexit means Brexit’, but then,
while this limerick’s contents I pen,
the flummoxed EU
still haven’t a clue
about Brexit’s mysterious ‘when’.
Brexit Talks Limerick
April 2nd, 2019Says Bercow, “If Brexit talk fails
to make progress no faster than snails,
to cut Britain’s loss,
a coin I shall toss;
to leave, or remain – heads or tails?”
Misgendering Limerick
March 23rd, 2019I misgendered a ‘him’ as a ‘her’
and was labelled on Facebook a cur;
so I’ve vowed from this day
that my posts will now say
‘Hello to you Miss, Ma’am or Sir.’
Shutdown Limerick
January 27th, 2019Said Trump: “I was having a ball
with the shutdown to build me a wall.
But now it’s a race,
to stop losing face,
so it may end up just one foot tall.”
Naked Dining Limerick
January 10th, 2019A restaurant serving up food
for diners who ate in the nude,
went bust when they saw
I had walked through the door,
and everyone eating there spewed.
Primordial Planetesimal Limerick
January 4th, 2019As deep into space Mankind goes,
a weird looking object arose;
and I must theorise
from its shape and its size,
it’s a booger sneezed out of God’s nose.
Christmas Dinner Limerick
December 30th, 2018At Christmas a guest often pouts
when the table at dinner time touts
not the turkey – that’s fine!
nor roast tatties – divine!
but a mountain of foul-smelling sprouts.
Return To Negotiations Limerick
December 13th, 2018To Europe, where May showed some pluck,
though the door to her limo got stuck;
this seemed quite symbolic,
since Brexit’s shambolic,
of a country that’s mired in the muck.