There once was a Texan buffoon,
who fled snow and ice for Cancún.
As he stepped out the door,
he shook Snowflake’s paw,
saying: “Dawg, I’ll be seein’ yer soon.”
Ted Cruz Limerick
February 28th, 2021Fashion Icon Limerick
February 13th, 2021The latest Kardashian tips
on fashion caused biting of lips;
for pain you can’t hide
from bikini tops tied
upside-down, roughly rubbing your nips.
Insurrection Limerick
January 28th, 2021When Donald Trump lost the election,
his base’s more volatile section
did Donald Trump’s will,
marched on Capitol Hill
and started an armed insurrection.
Storming of the Capitol Limerick
January 28th, 2021Claimed Trump of the lawless alt-right,
I said, metaphorically, “Fight!”
So how dare the left,
Of ideas so bereft,
Blame me for America’s plight.
Trump and the Truth Limerick
December 17th, 2020When you’ve fallen for Donald Trump’s lies,
it’s the day that democracy dies.
Now’s the time that you hunker
on down in your bunker
with your Second Amendment supplies.
Trump and the Votes Limerick
December 17th, 2020Said Donald, exuding derision:
“The vote counts weren’t done with precision;
so now we must spike
the results we don’t like
and suggest it’s the People’s decision.”
Presidential Road Trip Limerick
October 6th, 2020Said Trump: “Though the Reaper’s ahoy,
I’ll act like a spoilt little boy,
and despite Covid’s grip,
I shall go for a trip
in a car spreading more than just joy.”
Anastasia From Bytom
October 3rd, 2020One young wife Anastasia from Bytom
Chose a priestly live in an adytum.
One thing remained to be told:
“My husband, you are too old –
You don’t quite master your… precious item
Ivonna Nowicka
Doesn’t quite scan, but we get the idea!!
Debate Debacle Limerick
October 2nd, 2020While Donald and Joseph were telling
the public what they were both selling
the fractious debate
made neither look great
and ended in insults and yelling.
Presidential Tax Woes Get Hairy
September 29th, 2020Trump’s tax situation’s laid bare,
and he hasn’t been paying his share.
But what can one say
of the 70k
for styling his comb over hair?
Ticketing Row Limerick
August 21st, 2020The airlines that claimed to be poor
and were bailed out from bankruptcy’s maw,
make sure if you need
to return home at speed,
the price of your ticket will soar.
Mail Service 1 Limerick
August 21st, 2020Trump’s plans for election night theft
leads to mail service changes most deft.
Machines stay unmended
and overtime’s ended
especially in states leaning left.
Steve Bannon Limerick
August 21st, 2020Said Bannon: “Good morning, you all!
Send money, we’re building the Wall!”
But, oh, golly gosh,
he’s used up the dosh
to finance his having a ball.
Nude German Limerick
August 8th, 2020The boar took the laptop and ran,
pursued by a buck naked man.
and thanks to his run,
in the park, in the sun,
he now has an all over tan.
Naked man chases wild boar through public park after swine steals his laptop
Super Saturday Limerick
July 6th, 2020Super Saturday’s long overdue;
so I’m off to the pub for a few.
And after the bingeing
we’re sure to be whinging
of streets that are swimming in spew.
The Great Saleswoman
July 4th, 2020There once was a woman called Moore,
Who worked at a clothing store.
She sold lots of duds
To nerds, jocks, and studs,
Till she ruled the whole selling floor.
Thanks again to Birke R Duncan
The Great Attorney
July 4th, 2020There once was a lawyer called Jill
Who found litigation a thrill.
Her cases her settled.
Her rivals were nettled,
And the bill to Jill’s clients was nil.
Thanks to Birke R Duncan for this one
Ramping it Up (or Down)
June 26th, 2020Although it was not very steep,
down the ramp fragile Donald did creep.
But his rivals he’d blast
for poor health in the past,
so dear Prez, as you sow, so you reap.
Bournemouth Lockdown Fiasco
June 26th, 2020The English have not got a clue;
to Bournemouth’s famed beaches they flew,
and shared all their bugs
as they sunbathed like mugs,
like lemmings in search of a view.
Joke out of a Crisis Limerick
June 26th, 2020On Covid-19 what to do?
The President hasn’t a clue.
So to rally his base
and avoid losing face,
he jokingly calls it Kung flu.
Winston Churchill Limerick
June 14th, 2020Back then, Winston Churchill crossed swords
with goosestepping, Teutonic hordes.
The country held fast,
but that was the past,
for today Winnie’s hidden by boards.
Lawrie’s Beard
May 1st, 2020There once was a codger called Lawrie
Whose life was an allegory
At a gath’ring with friends,
He confessed at the end,
“My beard is my crowning glory.”
Another from Birke Duncan.
The Director
May 1st, 2020There was a director called Fact,
Who had all the good actors sacked.
He fell from the loft
On something not soft,
And had it put into the act.
Thanks to Birke Duncan for this one.
Trump’s U-V Treatment
April 26th, 2020When they’ve found the correct U-V brand
of lamp, we’ll see Pence lend a hand
shove it up Donald’s butt,
where each flatulent ‘Phutt!’
will result in those close getting tanned.
Spiders. Little Miss Muffet Limerick For Gender Equality
March 13th, 2020There was a young girl who attracted
an ugly old hairy arachnid.
Now, to just run away
would not save the day,
but a big stick to give him a whack did.
This Limerick is a re-telling of the rhyme “Little Miss Muffet” for the age of gender equality.
Thanks to Geoffrey Hill for that.